By Grant Tucker
Whether informed within the rugby golf equipment of Wales or the gentlemen's golf equipment of London, their sharpness and ease unites us all. brief, candy and wickedly shrewdpermanent, they carry a unique position within the annals of comedy, and because the upward push of Twitter heralds a resurrection of the artwork shape, there turns out no greater time to have a good time the immortal one-liner. during this publication, supply Tucker does simply that, bringing jointly 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever advised in a single definitive quantity. Laugh-out-loud humorous, 5,000 nice One-Liners has all of the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you are going to ever desire – and a complete lot extra.
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Extra info for 5,000 Great One Liners
The helium doesn’t react. I just lost out in a drag race. My bloody stilettos snapped. I always take my wife’s side no matter what. She is fat enough without eating KFC gravy as well. I love reunions; they’re old school. I saw someone buying a pair of roller boots today in Aldi. ’ The other two were too busy to answer. ’ Apparently masturbation causes blindness. We’ll see about that. My wife had her period and all I got was this bloody T-shirt. ’ As if you don’t look cool enough already… I’ve got no beef with vegetarian food.
For sale: ten used condoms. No weirdos please. I can’t believe no one has come up with a cure for anorexia yet. Surely it must be a piece of cake. ’ So does having lungs. I just want to congratulate the Viagra pharmaceutical company for selling over 1 million tablets last month. Keep it up, lads! My parents have gone to India with some friends. Mumbai? No, she’s straight, but I don’t think it’s that kind of trip anyway. I’ve been voted employee of the month for the last fifteen months. Being self-employed has its advantages.
How did I get out of Iraq? Iran. Last night I was so drunk that when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bar, I won the dance competition. ’ This is bullshit: according to my satnav that postcode doesn’t even exist. I just drank some WKD with ice in it. It was wicked. You know your team is shit when the highlight of the game was a bird sitting on the goal. ‘Man up’: a simple phrase to make your friends do stupid things. ’ Especially for those people that are depressed about their weight.
5,000 Great One Liners by Grant Tucker